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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28179330">Disappointment</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Josselin/pseuds/Josselin'>Josselin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:41:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,059</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28179330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Josselin/pseuds/Josselin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“He may not be there,” Nikandros said, when they stopped to water the horses. They were close but not yet within eyesight of the clearing at Marlas.</p>
<p>“He will be there,” Damen said. </p>
<p>“I do not want you to be disappointed,” said Nikandros.</p>
<p>“He will be there.” Though Damen acknowledged to himself that he might still be disappointed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Captive Prince Secret Santa 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Disappointment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creberrime/gifts">Creberrime</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been four months since Damen had left Laurent in Arles, but it felt much longer. </p>
<p>Damen and Nikandros had abandoned the rest of the men at Doria and proceeded to Marlas alone. Marlas was both the best and the worst place for them to meet. From a practical perspective, it was central and convenient, yet without a resident population to observe the kings of both of the disputed territories meeting in secret. From an emotional perspective, Marlas was where it had all started, so many years ago, back when Damen and Auguste had first faced each other on the field, and it was probably symbolic that it was where Damen and Laurent had now arranged to meet together in secret, when they were primarily hiding from Laurent’s brother. </p>
<p>The countryside near Marlas looked much the same. Damen felt as though entire lifetimes had passed. He was not the same man who had faced Auguste on the field. Auguste was not the same man after he’d been discovered, emaciated, in the dungeons. When they had last parted, it wasn’t over a duel, but an assassination attempt using poison.</p>
<p>“He may not be there,” Nikandros said, when they stopped to water the horses. They were close but not yet within eyesight of the clearing at Marlas.</p>
<p>“He will be there,” Damen said. </p>
<p>“I do not want you to be disappointed,” said Nikandros.</p>
<p>“He will be there.” Though Damen acknowledged to himself that he might still be disappointed.</p>
<p>There was a single rider there when they arrived. Laurent’s horse was not one Damen had seen before, a grey Patran stallion, but it was the same fine quality of mount as all of Laurent’s horses. Damen recognized Laurent’s posture on the horse from the moment he saw Laurent’s shadow on the horizon.</p>
<p>Damen wasn’t sure that Nikandros had refined the same recognition of Laurent’s posture on a horse in the year that they had ruled together, but Nikandros exhaled through his nose slowly at the sight of any rider on the horizon, regardless.</p>
<p>Nikandros kept his distance, to give them some privacy, initially. </p>
<p>Damen took Laurent into his arms immediately, and their first embrace was through layers of leather armor.</p>
<p>“I have missed you,” Damen said.</p>
<p>Laurent seemed at a loss for words, but his arms were tight around Damen’s midsection. </p>
<p>“I should never have left,” Damen continued. He had only been trying to make Auguste more comfortable, given their history, but he regretted leaving Laurent alone with his brother. </p>
<p>“He wasn’t blameless--” Laurent said.</p>
<p>“It’s my fault--”</p>
<p>“No--”</p>
<p>And then they didn’t talk any longer. Once the leather armor was dispensed with, behind a row of bushes to feign at privacy from Nikandros, Damen reacquainted himself with Laurent’s skin.</p>
<p>“Don’t leave marks--” Laurent said.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Damen said, and moved his mouth lower in apology.</p>
<p>After, they joined Nikandros around a fire and passed a wineskin. Nikandros offered a nod to Laurent in greeting, and Laurent nodded back. The respect between them had been won through the year of work they’d all done together before Laurent’s brother had been discovered alive in the dungeons at Chastillion. </p>
<p>They didn’t converse much. Small practical words about the fire. Passing the wineskin. Noting the weather. </p>
<p>“I heard the council favors New Artes--” Damen started, when the wineskin was half empty.</p>
<p>“No,” Laurent said. It wasn’t a rejection of the idea, it was a rejection of the conversation, and Damen let it drop. </p>
<p>There were two tents.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you in the morning,” Nikandros said, to Damen, nodding. </p>
<p>But there was not much more talking even when Damen and Laurent were alone together in the first tent.</p>
<p>“How is he?” Damen asked, when they were resting together.</p>
<p>Laurent was quiet for a moment. He was quiet long enough that Damen started to wonder if he would ever answer. “Poorly,” Laurent said finally.</p>
<p>“Is he--any better?” Damen said.</p>
<p>“He is--stronger,” Laurent said, finally.</p>
<p>“Have you talked with him about---what happened?”</p>
<p>There was another period of quiet. “Yes,” Laurent said finally.</p>
<p>“I thought of,” Damen swallowed, and stroked Laurent’s shoulder. He had been distant from Laurent for so many months that Laurent still felt distant even curled against him. “Writing to him.”</p>
<p>Laurent said nothing. </p>
<p>“I could apologize. He could come to know me as I am now—“</p>
<p>“Wait,” Laurent said, and Damen closed his eyes. </p>
<p>Laurent was not more inclined to conversation in the morning. Laurent occupied his mouth in other ways, and kept his words ones of sentiment, not business, remarking on the warmth of Damen’s skin and the sword calluses on his hands and the length of his hair. </p>
<p>Damen’s words were more direct. “I love you,” he said, his lips pressed into Laurent’s skin. “I miss you. I want us to be together.”</p>
<p>The sun crept over the horizon and cleared the treetops along the river. They dismantled the tents in silence. </p>
<p>Nikandros again retreated a distance for a semblance of privacy.</p>
<p>“I will be making a trip to Vask in the fall,” Laurent said. “I will pass by Ravenel the week after Festival.”</p>
<p>It was two seasons away. Damen swallowed. He had hoped for more. He nodded anyway.</p>
<p>Laurent took a piece of parchment out of his jacket. Damen took it, wondering if it was a note, but it was only a cipher. </p>
<p>“I think he is near to understanding the old one,” Laurent said.</p>
<p>Damen tucked it safely into a pouch on his belt.</p>
<p>He did not know how to say farewell to Laurent. Laurent did not seem to know what to say either. There was a long moment of silence, and then a bird called in the distance. </p>
<p>Laurent did not say anything, but he turned his stallion toward Arles, and rode away. </p>
<p>Damen watched as Laurent’s figure became smaller in the distance and then disappeared behind a small hill, and he turned to join Nikandros.</p>
<p>“He takes risks,” Nikandros said, “coming alone. A king should not travel alone.” Damen would have come alone himself except for Nikandros making that exact argument.</p>
<p>“He does not have a friend he can trust,” Damen said, because it was true and because sometimes Nikandros was easy to placate with compliments.</p>
<p>“He has a brother,” Nikandros said sourly, and Damen said nothing, gripping the reins to turn them toward Ios.</p>
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